Rumba coco

Dancing With the Stars is turning into a match.com series. This season unlike the previous two seems to be sparking more than a little romance. There's Willa Ford and the get-out-of-my-mirror-view handsome Maksim Chmerkovskiy. There's sexy dimpled Mario Lopez and his Karina Smirnoff (while Eva Longoria lusts after "her friend" from the audience). And now, even Sara Evans who's left the show to divorce her porn-perve husband is hooking up with her "always Albanian" partner Tony Dovalani next year so he can "choreograph her tour." Of course... Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

But even the best of romance has its downside. This season's biggest turnoffs:

The throbbing-veined forehead of Joey Lawrence

The weird pairings of modern music with dances in which they have no natural beats in tune

Carrie Ann Inaba's embarrassingly freakish "end zone" dance for Emmitt Smith last week

Bruno Tonioli's constant references to Mario's ... ahem... endowments. Batteries???

Mario is my Pepper Monkey for this series. Ay yi yi!
dancing with the stars mario lopez