American Idol finale: Cirque du So Lame

Did you feel like you were watching a house fire tonight? You were mesmerized by the flames of weirdness yet feared you'd miss something if you surfed away.
Tonight's American Idol finale was a little bit Gong Show, a whole lotta Lawrence Welk.
Freakiest moment: When the spawn of Chris Gaines and Pee Wee Herman came on stage to sing a duet with the Clay Aiken wannabe.
WTF moment: McMeat Loaf???!!!!
Desperate Housewife moment: The Prince surprise.
We had the gratuitous Burt Bachrach salute. We had the e-coli-mari moment (nothing like spit out snail in a napkin to boost ratings). We had the William Hung Wacks Museum.
Oh yeah, that Taylor dude won. Whoo!
clay aiken american idol prince mcmeat loaf